


Westeros Hockey League

by howdoyoupavane



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV), Game of Thrones (Video Game 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hockey, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 18:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21212780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howdoyoupavane/pseuds/howdoyoupavane
Summary: Just a collection of hockey shenanigans. Mostly shoving and swearing, probably.





	Westeros Hockey League

**Author's Note:**

> I mostly just transcribed an actual conversation between two professional hockey players. Pettiness inspires me.

It was one of those chaotic behind-the-net kinda situations. Robb had a good vantage point to everything that happened. He saw Asher Forrester make a save and deflect the puck awkwardly to his right, where Theon Greyjoy from the opposing team, Pyke Buccaneers, went after it. Two of Robb’s teammates were right behind him, Jory Cassel and Lucas Blackwood. They wrestled for the puck behind the net, and Asher kept close to his net, keeping his eye on the puck. 

Asher’s water bottle, perched on top of the net, suddenly hit the ice. Right at that moment, Theon’s linemate took a penalty for smashing his stick into Jory’s face. Theon took out his frustration on Asher’s bottle, flicking the puck at it and sending it into the corner. Asher looked at him incredulously. 

“Fucking five-year-olds playing hockey now”, he said loudly enough for Robb to hear and went to get his bottle. Lucas had already picked it up and handed it to him. Theon was lucky not to get a blocker into the face; Asher was known for his temper. Theon shrugged unapologetically and skated towards his bench. Robb followed him. 

“Hey! Greyjoy!” 

Theon turned to look at him. He had a familiar smirk on his face. 

“Don’t fucking hit his bottle! What’s wrong with you?” 

“His water bottle’s on the fucking ground”, Theon said. 

“Doesn’t matter. Don’t shoot a puck at it.” 

“It’s a fucking water bottle”, Theon laughed. 

“I don’t give a fuck!” It was Asher’s water bottle, and Robb felt like his goalie had just been insulted. 

“Don’t worry about a fucking water bottle.” 

“I am worried about a fucking water bottle.” 

The referee positioned himself between Robb and Theon. His eyes darted from Robb to the bench, where coach Cassel looked completely disinterested, his mind no doubt in the upcoming power play. 

“It’s our water bottle. Don’t fucking touch it”, Robb yelled. 

“I’ll buy you a new one, how’s that?” Theon called out from his bench. 

“Ok perfect, you buy me a new one!” Robb wished he could’ve just smashed his fist into Theon’s smarmy little face, but the referee had already planted a hand on his chest in a clear warning. 

“Robb, now’s not the time”, Jory said. He had a bruise under his eye. He dragged Robb to the bench. 

“We should get tattoos that say that”, Perwyn Frey quipped. 

Robb tried to calm down, but every time he looked at Theon, he mimed taking a drink from a water bottle. Robb wasn’t sure Theon understood what touching a goalie or their gear meant. The next time they were in a faceoff, Robb went to stand right next to Theon. 

“Fucking gods. Are you still mad about the fucking water bottle? 

“I might be.” 

“It was on the fucking floor, I didn’t know it was Forrester’s.” 

“Well who else’s was it gonna be? It’s our fucking water bottle, don’t fucking touch it.” 

“It shouldn’t have been there to begin with.” 

“Doesn’t matter! The fucking ref knocked it down. I don’t give a fuck.” 

“Settle the fuck down already”, the referee barked, and suddenly all eyes were on Robb and Theon. Robin Flint looked at Robb from where he was waiting for the puck to drop. Robb glared at Theon, but stayed silent. The puck dropped, and Robb and Theon both went after it. 

“What are you, the bottle police?” Theon muttered. He was right between the boards and Robb. Robb prayed for the old gods to stop him from doing something stupid. 

In just a couple of minutes Robb sat in the penalty box with his jersey halfway off and knuckles sore. He looked at Theon, who, to his delight, had stopped smirking. Robb had caught him right in the eye. It had been a good, honest ending to a conversation that in hindsight might have dragged on a bit too long. 

“What a pair of fucking idiots”, the referee had said after shoving Robb into the sin bin. “I’ll get your goalie a gilded fucking water bottle. Put fucking champagne in it.” 

“It’s not about the bottle!” Robb had shouted. He met Theon’s eyes from across the glass partition. Theon took a sip of water and found his smirk again. Robb was ready to take another penalty right there and then, were it not for the murderous glare he thought he saw behind Asher’s mask. The temptation of smashing Theon's face into the glass diminished, when considering the prospect of getting shanked with a skate blade by Asher right after. He grabbed a towel and cleaned his visor. Winning the match would hurt Theon worse in the long run.


End file.
